Tom Oatmeal

A Blog About Intercourse from a guy who doesn't get nervous about intercourse like his friend Ricky does.

170 notes

Forget about what the fancy, hotshot business books tell you about networking. You want in? Then quit waiting for an invitation and just show up. Pay the $35 for parking. It’s worth it.
That’s what I did. By afternoon I was wandering around the company’s outdoor campus like I worked there.
I approached a group of young professionals.
"Late lunch?"
"Not really," said one woman and the others laughed.
"Oh well I guess I forgot it was daylight savings today!" I shouted sarcastically. 
I yanked my watch off and spun the dial an hour earlier and then held it out for everyone at the table to see.
"There!" I shouted. "You’re SOOOOOO right! What a perfectly reasonable time to have lunch! What on earth was I thinking!?"
"Hey, calm down man."
But I was SO mad! I took the loose watch and began whipping myself in the head with it until the smallest trickle of blood could be seen running down my face.
A few minutes later, the entire group was gone. I tried to follow them inside the building, but you need one of those electronic key cards.
"Robert," I told the security guard.
"That doesn’t mean anything."
"Then Gene is my name."
"Do you have an appointment?"
"My name is Bobert, then. Like formal Bob."
But the security guard refused.
To make it all worse, I forgot to change my watch back to the correct time so I missed a really important job interview. I probably could have still made the interview, but it was going to be close and I decided it wasn’t worth it to drive all that way if I was going to be late.
"What is it that these big time, wealthy CEOs have that I don’t?" I wondered and by midnight, I had the answer: Luck.

Forget about what the fancy, hotshot business books tell you about networking. You want in? Then quit waiting for an invitation and just show up. Pay the $35 for parking. It’s worth it.

That’s what I did. By afternoon I was wandering around the company’s outdoor campus like I worked there.

I approached a group of young professionals.

"Late lunch?"

"Not really," said one woman and the others laughed.

"Oh well I guess I forgot it was daylight savings today!" I shouted sarcastically. 

I yanked my watch off and spun the dial an hour earlier and then held it out for everyone at the table to see.

"There!" I shouted. "You’re SOOOOOO right! What a perfectly reasonable time to have lunch! What on earth was I thinking!?"

"Hey, calm down man."

But I was SO mad! I took the loose watch and began whipping myself in the head with it until the smallest trickle of blood could be seen running down my face.

A few minutes later, the entire group was gone. I tried to follow them inside the building, but you need one of those electronic key cards.

"Robert," I told the security guard.

"That doesn’t mean anything."

"Then Gene is my name."

"Do you have an appointment?"

"My name is Bobert, then. Like formal Bob."

But the security guard refused.

To make it all worse, I forgot to change my watch back to the correct time so I missed a really important job interview. I probably could have still made the interview, but it was going to be close and I decided it wasn’t worth it to drive all that way if I was going to be late.

"What is it that these big time, wealthy CEOs have that I don’t?" I wondered and by midnight, I had the answer: Luck.

Filed under Networking Business Solutions Resume Tips General Guidance

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    My name is Brandy, like formal Brandi.
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    this guy is insane Not the story The fact he wrote this
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    Yes.
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