Tom Oatmeal

A Blog About Intercourse from a guy who doesn't get nervous about intercourse like his friend Ricky does.

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It’s a free seminar and so you decide that you have nothing to lose by going. Finance. Solutions. Financial solutions. Change. The guy is a good speaker and he shows a video about how YOU can get started. Great!
But then he mentions something about money. You’ve got to spend money to make money. Nobody moves and nobody makes eye contact. This man is crazy now and we hate him.
He begs for money. Just buy the starter kit! Just do the trial period! Money back guarantee! But nobody budges. Just wait it out. He’s been on his feet and shouting for a long time. It only makes sense that he will inevitably succumb to fatigue. And when he crumples into a heap, THAT is when the group will decide on whether they exit the auditorium or stomp the man to death. Either option is fine by you.
Hour four ticks by. The speaker is desperate. He pulls out a picture of his family and uses it to single out the man seated next to you.
"My family!" he screams. "My family needs this!"
But the man seated next to you pulls out a picture of HIS family! He holds it up. Picture fight!
The speaker wipes his brow and smiles at the challenge. He grabs both pictures and hands them to you.
"Here," he says. "YOU decide."
And isn’t that JUST your luck because, dear god, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO BE LOOKING FOR HERE?!

It’s a free seminar and so you decide that you have nothing to lose by going. Finance. Solutions. Financial solutions. Change. The guy is a good speaker and he shows a video about how YOU can get started. Great!

But then he mentions something about money. You’ve got to spend money to make money. Nobody moves and nobody makes eye contact. This man is crazy now and we hate him.

He begs for money. Just buy the starter kit! Just do the trial period! Money back guarantee! But nobody budges. Just wait it out. He’s been on his feet and shouting for a long time. It only makes sense that he will inevitably succumb to fatigue. And when he crumples into a heap, THAT is when the group will decide on whether they exit the auditorium or stomp the man to death. Either option is fine by you.

Hour four ticks by. The speaker is desperate. He pulls out a picture of his family and uses it to single out the man seated next to you.

"My family!" he screams. "My family needs this!"

But the man seated next to you pulls out a picture of HIS family! He holds it up. Picture fight!

The speaker wipes his brow and smiles at the challenge. He grabs both pictures and hands them to you.

"Here," he says. "YOU decide."

And isn’t that JUST your luck because, dear god, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO BE LOOKING FOR HERE?!

Filed under Finance Solutions Financial Solutions

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